Marriage Prep: "What Every Young man should know before Marriage.

Genesis 2:24“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.Here we have a conditional statement: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother.” A man is someone able to exist independently of his Father and Mother (ex. Able to provide shelter food and clothing for himself. Without relying on outside assistance). A man who is unable to do these things should be hindered from getting married for this reason. A woman is called to be a complement, not a replacement for a man’s parents, he should already be taking care of things on his own. Secondly, although there are women who work and produce an income their income should not be relied on because of lifestyle changes that hinder them from working (ie: pregnancy, illness, the decision to home school etc.). If the man has not moved out at this point they should be able to (have a job and plan on moving)A man who doesn’t have this in place is not ready for a marriage commitment regardless of age, biblically marriage is a privilege of men alone; I wouldn’t allow a boy to get married anymore then I would allow my son Gabriel to operate a car, because I would do him harm by putting him in a situation that he is too young to operate in. A man should have a means of taking care of his family and show that he is ready for such a responsibility, because even if he isn’t prepared his wife will look to him for leadership, and this is something he must prepare for.*Ensure that the man is getting married for the right reason. Ask him why he wants to marry, if his answer is “because we can talk” then much education is needed, because what happens when you can’t talk? If you like the way she makes you feel what happens when she doesn’t make you feel the same way?

2) Romans 8:29 The Purpose of Marriage

For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.The Purpose of Marriage is the same purpose for everything else, to conform us to the image of Christ. When we are single there is a level of work that God can do in us but there is a limit because all of our tests and trials come from external circumstances, and we can experience a level of relief when we return to our homes, and close the door on the outside world. In marriage however, there is a deeper level of testing that brings forth a deeper level of change when the people involved are forced to confront there own selfishness, irresponsibility, or any other attribute that is unlike Christ, because unlike being single it is hard to isolate yourself from someone you live with. But after that attribute is worked out a greater level of Christ-likeness is achieved.

3) Proverbs 18:22 “A good thing”

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.We must not misunderstand what is meant by good. God’s definition of good is complete and acceptable as seen in the book of Genesis during the creation. When God made something he put his seal of approval on it and called it Good. The only time God called something not good was when man was alone. In God’s eyes he was incomplete. We know that Adam wasn’t alone because God was with him. But there was no one suitable for him (Gen 2:20) Adam had no contemporary. He was lower than God yet higher than the animals. In Eve, Adam had his complement, everything in Eve was set up to complement Adam. Getting back to my point: now that we know what good means, Good does not mean pleasurable at all times, nor does it mean that we will agree with our wives, but it means that we are receiving from God the chief ingredient for growing in Christ likeness in our wives which is God’s main focus making “he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord”.

4) Matthew 19:10-12 Those who reject Marriage

The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage[a]because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."Notice that Christ only noted three types of people that were able to not get married and stay sinless in that area. Only those who are Eunuch by birth, men, or for the Kingdom of God. Notice that God did NOT include if you have personal agendas or professional aspirations in life, or if you just like your freedom. If one tries to become a eunuch for the Kingdom of God (I tried this myself and failed miserably) they should consider this.1. If you have even a hint of sexual desire in you and cannot control it then marriage is for you for it is better to marry then to burn, not just with desire but also to suffer the wrath of God because of WHEN you sin.2. Those that have the mindset that we may sin all we want because we are under grace are execrating Jesus’ sacrifice and do not understand sin. Ask yourself, how many times did Adam and Eve sin before they were expelled from the Garden of Eden. Our sin moved God the Father to crush his own son for our sakes, How dare we crucify him again because of our selfish lusts and appetites. Have you not read Hebrews 10:26-29If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much more severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God under foot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace?

1st Corinthians 7:32-35: I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. As good as marriage is it will hinder the amount of time that you have to do the things that you want be it a business, a hobby, even ministry. Your responsibility to your family must take precedence a choice that unmarried people do not have to make. When it comes to marriage one has only two choices 1.If you remain unmarried God must be glorified in that state and you must stay pure. 2.If you get married God must be glorified in your marriage and you must remain faithful in your marriage*But either way Christ must be glorified.

Ephesians 5:25-27 A husbands’ duty:

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.1.Husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it."

In the past I heard this Scripture interpreted as a husband should be ready to sacrifice his physical life for his wife which is true but it doesn’t stop there. The sacrifices that we are called to make are internal sacrifices for the good of our wives if called to. It doesn’t matter if we have a ministry where 3,000 people are genuinely converted everyday, as I have learned from Pastor John “God can replace me with thousands of other Pastors, but as a husband there is no substitute. If our personal goals conflict with ministry to the needs of our wives then they must be cut off. Even if it is ministry.

“That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.”

a.The Pastor is not the primary teacher in the home, the husband is. We are called to be a savior to our wives. Not The Savior but a savior in a sense that we are the primary leaders and teachers of our family. We are not to depend on a Pastor to do that for us. That goes for our children as well, I thank God for children’s church but the Bible makes no mention of it in the book of Acts. It is the Job of the family to teach their children the things of God, with the father as the head.

3.“That he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish.

If you have been married 12 years and your wife is not pleasing to you than you must look at yourself as the culprit because chances are you are not pouring into her and shaping her into a wife that is pleasing to you. You do this by ministering to her in love, pouring into her the word of God mixed with correction so that she will be made pleasing to you. The man must be equipped to lead his wife and children in the things of God and put their needs above his own.In conclusion, Marriage is a privilege for men and men alone, and anything short of that will cause problems not only with divorces in young marriages, but it will be a morale drain for other young marriages like my very own who look to others for encouragement. We must never look to a man’s age as an indicator for marriage, for as Elihu says in the book of Job 32:9 “Older men are not always wise: neither do the aged understand judgment. We must look at how that man matures in the things of God before making such judgments. And be careful to note that although marriage is a good thing, in the wrong context it could explode leaving a broken home in its wake. That is why we must always consult the word of God rather than societal norms, because the culture will always change God’s word will not.